Spending 24 hours stuck in a tin-can or parked in a terminal full of other “not-so-sweet-smelling”, grumpy travelers has never ever been anyone’s idea of fun. And don’t even get me started on how much I hate/loathe/detest/would kill someone if I ever have to pass through an American airport again.
Lineups thrice as long as other airports, semi/automatic rifle-armed guards (I dislike guns, NO…PEOPLE ALONE DON’T KILL PEOPLE, PEOPLE WITH GUNS KILL PEOPLE, unless you’re a certain British MI-6 spy…then everything you touch kills people #OMGILOVEQ ❤ ❤ <3), and body pat-downs just because they feel like it, and loud/rude/grumpy/surly/power-went-to-their-head TSA and border control agents. Eh, I could keep going… No, I don't hate Americans, I hate their airports. LAX you hold a special place in that top "I don't ever wanna pass through here again" spot.
ANYWAY, I digress, I get to go through this routine: 4 trips a year x there and back….about 8 times a year. Not counting little short-haul shopping trips in Asia.
Now, a year and a bit ago, when I was a tad younger and a lot more "image-conscious (vain bimbo phase), I’d travel around in dresses and tights tucked into high-heeled boots or the ever-there-for-me black pumps. Perfumed. And all made up. And regularly applying more powdered foundation and eyeliner and lipstick once I’m happily seated up in Business, usually while sipping on bubbly (love the perks, #Notanalcoholic). Particularly whenever I fly by SIA, the lotions they provide for the upper-tier classes are TDF. #USEALLTHELOCCITANE 🙂
My trips to the bathroom would take up to 15 mins at a time, applying hand lotions, face lotions, spritzing on some facial mist, thn applying makeup before trotting back to my seat.
I can officially say, I have given up on those days.
2012 onwards has seen me dressing in more…PRACTICAL…flying outfits. No more makeup. No more heels…still with the tights and short skirts and dresses and perfume. Gotta look presentable (and smell good), after all stewards are quite cute.
Most probably gay. Or attached. Or gay and attached. But quite cute.
PS. Best part about flying by business or first? AIRPORT LOUNGES. Also always useful to have VIP credit cards. Free, free-flowing food. And in some airports (not the Asian ones, they're so damn stingy) ALL YOU CAN DRINK <3.
#Stillnotanalcoholic. (No, really.)
PPS. The amt of consumerism seen in Asian airports is astounding. Seriously. Gucci, Prada, Chanel, Hermes, Louis Vuitton, BV etc boutiques. All chocked full with Asians. #IAMAMONGMYOWN
PPPS. I hate how stewards call me mdm. I'm not their mother's friend, I'm younger than all of them (the flight crew). Miss is fine. Mdm is my mother.
I need sleep, 5 hrs of it in the last 48 hrs is not enough.